Addiction

What to do with all this additional time. Replacing one addiction with another so to say. In the world of online shopping this has posed a challenge but allrecipies.com has been doing okay with keeping my hands off of the Lululemon and Free people "add to cart" button.

Along with studying, applying for a few "said" things (to be announced later) and furthering my education I also became the "real" wife this weekend. ("real"- meaning everything I haven't been this past year!)

It started off with just a quick trip to Target (is that possible), then to Bed Bath and Beyond, then to Staples, then to the grocery store and a lil' Starbucks too. I can't help that they each fall within the same half mile complex. By the time I got home the car was flooding over and I was frazzled on how to get all the goodies inside. Three trips it took and another three to the trash once my "mini-remodel" was complete. This is REAL exercise!

Mark was off on his long endurance ride in prep for CDA. I was on the endurance shopping spree.

He luckily came home to all new bedding and pillows, oh so plush! Cream, with reds and browns, and purples. Oh, but sleeping in a new bed was bliss! I'd post a photo but he's still sleeping in it!!

He also arrived home to some home-made chicken pot pie (I cook about 4 different things, each once a year, and this is one of his faves!). Photo to be found on is FB page. Oh, and some crock-pot chili too. We have food for the week! And more fun recipes to follow.

Then it was back to studying and organizing all things work and education related.

I feel so organized, so on the ball, and have all new systems in place that make life more manageable.

Bring on the day!

Athlete

I wrote this post prior to my last remicade treatment...it has been sitting in the "edit" section. Do I share? Do I not? What to do? I am just as tired of depressing blog posts and hang on knowing that these will hopefully turn to amazingly exciting blog posts when a breakthrough occurs.

I have decided to share because I may have a glimpse of hope again since my last treatment to race again. And I have landed myself in the pool again. And in the grand scheme of things I have had a couple solid weeks of training, just a tad sporatic, and halted unexpectantly.

For starters I did not end up in the hospital this time, we went back to an old medicine I took awhile back, adding this in may be helping. I have gained 2 pounds and am hungry now....I think this is a good sign of moving in the right direction!

I have decided to share because it speaks from my heart.

I have decided to share because it may speak to someone who may benefit.

So here goes:

December 21.

Since I was young (age 4 to be exact) I was an athlete. An athlete to me is someone who sets goals, aims high and lives and breathes to achieve them. I was this person. I would dream big! Many would say I was naturally gifted. I disagree.

I was gifted with determination, support, and amazing coaches that allowed me to be my best. Many would think my goals were crazy, but without hesitation, would support me as I played day in and day out to reach my dreams.

From gymnastics, to swimming, to bodybuilding/fitness, to triathlon...I have had a ton of fun. Losing, winning, dreaming and believing.

I have been MIA for a reason. I was given hope that I would be able to perform in 2011. Although I have lost huge amounts of fitness, I have gained a bigger heart and still believed that I could pull from the passion to hit some of my 2011 goals. I continued to dream big. But the bottom line is the Remicade is not working as planned. I am sick again...and doing all I can to stay out of the hospital.


Dreaming big to me NOW has very little to do with being an athlete. I would give anything to live as I have since the age of 4, but it is not in my cards...not right now. For the first time in my life my fitness no longer matters, racing no longer matters, and being an athlete is no longer. Okay, it does matter...a ton actually. I am hoping and praying that I someday again, in this lifetime, I will be able, be gifted, and be honered to swim, bike and run....in that order.... on the same day. I miss the training and I miss the smile across the finish line, amongst many other things. I am sure my family misses it just as much.

Trust me, I am not throwing in the towel, that is now how I roll....I have just never had to "just be", not had to recite my goals, visualize a perfect race, nor attempt to jump a mountain as I am now. I never imagined I would be in this situation.

One thing I can admit is that I have always appreciated racing and appreciated my body for letting me race. I smiled acrossed every line! I have shed tears on the sidelines, I have learned from my mistakes and have always believed that everything happens for a reason. When I was victorious I would share the same smile as when I was defeated. Now that I am where I am, I appreciate that someone along the way taught me this (that would be Coach Hannula). Because I am blessed with zero regrets in my athletic history.

Coaching athletes day in and day out has made me realize how much being an athlete defines us...it is such an honor that many never tap into or never fully appreciate. Continue to remind yourself the gift you have and aim to be your best!

SBR stats for 2010

Happy New Year!

Stoked to be wearing these new kicks in 2011:

(A huge shout-out to Gerks Ski and Cycle and Specialized!)

We had a fabulous January-late August getting some early season training, racing, and traveling. Things made a turn for the worse with my health late August. In fact, I am not the best at logging my workouts (bad student!) but I pulled up some data for the entire year (I did get some descent training in during mid-Nov to mid-December, but nothing, truly NOTHING in September, October or late December) :

240 hours cycling

92 hours of swimming

110 hours of running

20 hours of other (this does not include eating!)

*Clearly I love to swim!

* I will eliminate any math for you "crazies" and let you know that the weeks I trained this averaged out to approx 14-16 hours/week. Which, with my health and how much I "rest" I am pleased with considering everything.

*The goals for 2011 are not definable at this moment. Fingers crossed I will make it to a start line (sprint, olympic, swim....I'll take anything!)!