Addiction

What to do with all this additional time. Replacing one addiction with another so to say. In the world of online shopping this has posed a challenge but allrecipies.com has been doing okay with keeping my hands off of the Lululemon and Free people "add to cart" button.

Along with studying, applying for a few "said" things (to be announced later) and furthering my education I also became the "real" wife this weekend. ("real"- meaning everything I haven't been this past year!)

It started off with just a quick trip to Target (is that possible), then to Bed Bath and Beyond, then to Staples, then to the grocery store and a lil' Starbucks too. I can't help that they each fall within the same half mile complex. By the time I got home the car was flooding over and I was frazzled on how to get all the goodies inside. Three trips it took and another three to the trash once my "mini-remodel" was complete. This is REAL exercise!

Mark was off on his long endurance ride in prep for CDA. I was on the endurance shopping spree.

He luckily came home to all new bedding and pillows, oh so plush! Cream, with reds and browns, and purples. Oh, but sleeping in a new bed was bliss! I'd post a photo but he's still sleeping in it!!

He also arrived home to some home-made chicken pot pie (I cook about 4 different things, each once a year, and this is one of his faves!). Photo to be found on is FB page. Oh, and some crock-pot chili too. We have food for the week! And more fun recipes to follow.

Then it was back to studying and organizing all things work and education related.

I feel so organized, so on the ball, and have all new systems in place that make life more manageable.

Bring on the day!

Athlete

I wrote this post prior to my last remicade treatment...it has been sitting in the "edit" section. Do I share? Do I not? What to do? I am just as tired of depressing blog posts and hang on knowing that these will hopefully turn to amazingly exciting blog posts when a breakthrough occurs.

I have decided to share because I may have a glimpse of hope again since my last treatment to race again. And I have landed myself in the pool again. And in the grand scheme of things I have had a couple solid weeks of training, just a tad sporatic, and halted unexpectantly.

For starters I did not end up in the hospital this time, we went back to an old medicine I took awhile back, adding this in may be helping. I have gained 2 pounds and am hungry now....I think this is a good sign of moving in the right direction!

I have decided to share because it speaks from my heart.

I have decided to share because it may speak to someone who may benefit.

So here goes:

December 21.

Since I was young (age 4 to be exact) I was an athlete. An athlete to me is someone who sets goals, aims high and lives and breathes to achieve them. I was this person. I would dream big! Many would say I was naturally gifted. I disagree.

I was gifted with determination, support, and amazing coaches that allowed me to be my best. Many would think my goals were crazy, but without hesitation, would support me as I played day in and day out to reach my dreams.

From gymnastics, to swimming, to bodybuilding/fitness, to triathlon...I have had a ton of fun. Losing, winning, dreaming and believing.

I have been MIA for a reason. I was given hope that I would be able to perform in 2011. Although I have lost huge amounts of fitness, I have gained a bigger heart and still believed that I could pull from the passion to hit some of my 2011 goals. I continued to dream big. But the bottom line is the Remicade is not working as planned. I am sick again...and doing all I can to stay out of the hospital.


Dreaming big to me NOW has very little to do with being an athlete. I would give anything to live as I have since the age of 4, but it is not in my cards...not right now. For the first time in my life my fitness no longer matters, racing no longer matters, and being an athlete is no longer. Okay, it does matter...a ton actually. I am hoping and praying that I someday again, in this lifetime, I will be able, be gifted, and be honered to swim, bike and run....in that order.... on the same day. I miss the training and I miss the smile across the finish line, amongst many other things. I am sure my family misses it just as much.

Trust me, I am not throwing in the towel, that is now how I roll....I have just never had to "just be", not had to recite my goals, visualize a perfect race, nor attempt to jump a mountain as I am now. I never imagined I would be in this situation.

One thing I can admit is that I have always appreciated racing and appreciated my body for letting me race. I smiled acrossed every line! I have shed tears on the sidelines, I have learned from my mistakes and have always believed that everything happens for a reason. When I was victorious I would share the same smile as when I was defeated. Now that I am where I am, I appreciate that someone along the way taught me this (that would be Coach Hannula). Because I am blessed with zero regrets in my athletic history.

Coaching athletes day in and day out has made me realize how much being an athlete defines us...it is such an honor that many never tap into or never fully appreciate. Continue to remind yourself the gift you have and aim to be your best!

SBR stats for 2010

Happy New Year!

Stoked to be wearing these new kicks in 2011:

(A huge shout-out to Gerks Ski and Cycle and Specialized!)

We had a fabulous January-late August getting some early season training, racing, and traveling. Things made a turn for the worse with my health late August. In fact, I am not the best at logging my workouts (bad student!) but I pulled up some data for the entire year (I did get some descent training in during mid-Nov to mid-December, but nothing, truly NOTHING in September, October or late December) :

240 hours cycling

92 hours of swimming

110 hours of running

20 hours of other (this does not include eating!)

*Clearly I love to swim!

* I will eliminate any math for you "crazies" and let you know that the weeks I trained this averaged out to approx 14-16 hours/week. Which, with my health and how much I "rest" I am pleased with considering everything.

*The goals for 2011 are not definable at this moment. Fingers crossed I will make it to a start line (sprint, olympic, swim....I'll take anything!)!

Swim Fun/TRX

Last year my body let me do 100x100. This year I missed out on that fun for two reasons 1. There was no way my body needed to be pushed to the limits, it is not healthy enough to take on that adventure and 2. the need for continuing education was calling from maintaining several certifications, luckily I landed in a full day of TRX training. From much experience with gymnastics and pilates, lets just say, by the end of the day we were doing some crazy- fun moves!

To make up for the missed holiday swim I did 70+x100 on a light interval with several of the TNM athletes. We were at max capacity with over 20 athletes showing up for the adventure of doing as many 100's as possible (okay, coach put a limit on each of them based on their swim fitness) in 2 hours. It was impressive to see these athletes take their swimming to another level, to watch Mark attempt diving off the blocks for the first time, to see some bikini briefs that have been in hiding since Canada and to see non-flip turners becoming real swimmers! Personally I enjoyed just swimming and working out with the athletes which I never do because I want to be "coaching" while they are training. But this was a "holiday special" so coaches got to play!

(Mark and his ladies...I mean lane mates!)

Mark is becoming a real swimmer and just set a 100 PR of 1:11 (and he will remind you that he does not do" cheater-flips")!!!

(the last of the fishies)

The full two hours was full of laughs, coffee, and donuts! Cheers... to doing it again and again (okay maybe not multiple 100's but some swim fun for sure)....as we have the pool for team swims each month now!!! Yeah!!

PS...Yes ,I do have a health update for you, but it will come after the Christmas holiday...now is the time to celebrate fun times with friends and family! Happiest of holidays friends! xoxo

Short Post, Big Message

We can all learn a lot from this girl! She truly means what she says and does it all with a smile!

You can click on her post and stop reading here :)

Her most recent post on "wrapping it up" hit home, it made me smile (because I am so proud of her), it made me sad (I miss pushing myself to the limits), it made me excited (because she is a true sum of dedication), it made me happy that I could relate to her message.

Charisa and I raced together for the first time in my first ironman (CDA in 2008). I didn't know her at the start, nor at the finish that day. We became friends through blogging, triathlon, and emailing (still need to figure out the butterfly!). We met for the first time in Kona 2009.

Charisa swam a 1:06 at multiple ironmans (3+) leading up to her pro debut this year. I (well, everyone)watched her throughout the year carry the determination to break that 1:06 barrier (this girl became a fish!). At her first ironman this year, she swam a 1:06 AGAIN....she did not give up and continued with her journey with additional fire in the belly. By the end of the season she swam a :59! I think all of FB had a party for her!

She wasn't just this successful with her swim, but with all the disciples related to triathlon and life. Her message in her post says a lot and I believe everyone can learn from it.

Keep believing, keep dreaming, and recognize that at the end of the day it is you, the clock, your dignity, your passion, and only a "tiny" thing that defines you as a person. Make the best of every race. Hard work does pay off! Be the best you can be...on and off the field!

Back in the Splash.

I never thought getting back in the pool would bring the emotions that it did. I jumped in feet first (normally, I kind of crawl in and don't even get my head wet until half way down the pool...its cold!) and an instant smile from ear to ear and around my head appeared! It was pure bliss!

(Super happy swimmer....the last time I swam....until now!)

The docs often ask what I do to relax...recommending yoga (which you will never find me doing again) and meditation, reading, etc....for me it is SWIMMING that 100% clears my head and takes me away to another land.

The swims these days consist of no clocks, no lap counting, just pure swimming from the heart and doing what feels right in the moment. Some days it is 15 min others maybe 40...it doesn't matter really, the fact that I GET to swim is where the appreciation lies.

(just one of the fun TYR suits I love!)

And what adds to all this fun excitement is that I finally get to wear all those cute TYR suits that have filled my swim bag. Thank you TYR for making swimming that much more of a wonderful thing!

Run....Snow...Thanks...

Time is flying by...now that I am past the post-treatment effects! The TNM season is coming to a wraps and we finished off with a super helpful run clinic. Since I can only do light/moderate exercise I am officially forced to work on my form, and let me tell you it was a disaster! So I am perfecting my cross over arms, my floppy feet and learning to run more efficiently...at a slow pace.

(group 1 of 2 on the final clinic day!)

Our holiday plans were re-arranged when we were hit with multiple inches of snow. And the days leading up were filled with evenings out with all of our friends in the West Seattle area, there is something so cozy about being in a restaurant and sharing laughs with your friends knowing that there really is no place better to be and you don't really have to be anywhere the next day either....the snow is magical!

My mother was without power for 3 whole days...so instead of heading over to her home to freeze our booties off, we stayed in West Seattle and went running with a few team members. We lined the streets because the sidewalks were loaded with tailbone-breaking black ice and slushy snow. Nothing beats the holidays with friends and family though because that cold run was finished up with some delish hot cocoa and coffee with loved ones.

(Wild Wagner Webb!)

We finished off Thanksgiving with eats and thankfulness with the Webb family.

We later celebrated with Mom once the snow dried up!

The Seattle marathon falls right after the Turkey Holiday and it was blessed with slightly better weather and Mark ran his fastest Seattle half marathon to date...it was impressive to see him determined and ready! His teammates were close behind keeping the event entertaining for us spectators as our members lined the streets nearly every mile and continually updated me via text at the finish line. A huge congrats to him and great things to come for his Ironman CDA adventure.

(Yeah, it was only a little cold at the start!)

Hope each of you had a fabulous Thanksgiving!