Finding Motivation.

 

Motivational quotes are EVERYWHERE!  "Face your fears", "aim high", "dig deeper".  When focused these make sense, but over the past few months they have been a discouragement.  And I have to close my eyes and ignore the unsettling swirls in my stomach.  I read them and think I am lazy, but in reality, I need to be smart.  I believe to truly be successful you need to be "all in", and honestly, in the racing aspect of my life I have been striving to find that certain something that drives me each and every day, primarily in fear of compromising my health.  Having enough eye-opening- flare-up-experiences can do this to you.   But, when the time is right, the time is right and the drive to excel finds you.  When the time isn't right, then we occupy that time with other important goals in our life.

 

It is easy to be influenced into continually doing more, even if it is unhealthy, as an athlete, that is all many of us know. Balance is hard, but it is rewarding.

I have been lucky enough to do the Hot Chocolate 15K a few months ago with lots of teammates (it made the out and back so-much-fun!) Considering I had only run 1 full hour a couple of times, you can only imagine what happened at 1 hour and 1 minutes into the race...ouch!  But the hot cocoa was great!

 

I did the Mercer Island 5K too, double ouch. But thankful to be out there once again.

 

Insurance finally gave approval for the VLS#3 probiotic and after a couple of weeks I am feeling even better. So am sticking to the combination of Humira and Imuran and the probiotics.

 

I was challenged with my achy shoulders  restricting me in the water, with my legs producing watts 50 lower than what I was used to seeing, and with my run paces being sub-par.  I had to go back to the basics and appreciate training by disabling all gadgets and committing to persistence. Over several weeks things started to change...did I mention SEVERAL weeks! 

 

My motivation and drive is reinstated. I may have decided on doing some triathlon races this year (pro or age group is yet to be determined) but either way I am really love what I am doing again, its undeniable!

 

Walking!

I'll admit, I was not looking forward to starting a walk program.  I encourage my athletes to walk often, it is great for fitness, exceptional during the off-season and transition periods and just plain good for you. But, I sat around for a week after being told I could "walk". I wasn't feeling it. Heart rate less than 100, come on Dr B!!!, slow, just wasn't feeling it.  More thinking "why bother", because really I just want to run.

 Not my best state.

But then one day my mind shifted. I needed to get away from all I had "known" and switch things up.  I grabbed my phone (with the itunes) and decided to walk.  3 songs out and three songs back.  No garmin, no watch, just Miley-Cyrus-Leona-Lewis-Beyonce-forget-anything-matters-displaying-thee-best-voice-in-the-world-music.  I needed it. It cleared my head. I felt good, I took in the Seattle Space Needle views and I smiled.

I continued to enjoy these "walks" and added some inclines on the treadmill on rainy days.  Then one day I attempted a 1 mile run, at a...um...9:30 pace.

Within 3 minutes I had that shoulder blade achy cramp feeling, but I kept running. Embrace the suck, over and over. At 9 minutes and 30 seconds I reached a mile!!! Hallelujah!!! And I was bobbing and weaving and ducking and bobby to those same tunes with a smile (yes, I was "that girl" on the treadmil)l.  I walked for a moment for cool down and was dizzy.

WOW. I have a LONG way to go and will not be attempting a mile time trial soon. BUT, I am getting off some stiff medicines, moon-face be gone, and am thankful that things are moving slowly, VERY slowly, in the right direction.

"Good things come to those wait. Be patient"

I realize a big step for me to get back into things is to not be able to compare any of my past training. I needed to make a total shift of getting started again. Keeping things simple and just going with the flow, the easier the better.  I don't even own a bike right now and plan on keeping things simple. This is going to be a huge challenge I am taking on for the next 6+ weeks.

 Just like resuming any training the key is to stop before your body tells you too. To feel good, before, during and after so you can be stronger the next day.  Bring on the challenge.

Walk more, switch things up, be patient, BE HAPPY!

PS. Swimming started this week too! 1600 blissful yards, with no pace clocks.

Resting.....

This disease is no joke and it is unbelieveable to me that it can be so destructive in such a short time frame. Bed rest for me.....Dr B (Dr Bohorfoush, just try to pronounce that, best gastro ever!) was right when he said I was on a tipping point, I believed him....but still like to believe in being invincible on most days.  Being ordered to rest is harder than being told to go do an ironman.  Ironman easy, rest hard. 



Loving to ride.......Being in the moment.....



This flare up started about 3 weeks ago.  I had stopped taking immuran (250mg) because I was sleeping my life away.  2-3 hour naps,daily (yes, who has time for that!) just don't seem acceptable, especially on these gorgeous Seattle summer days.  The doctor agreed, but made me book an appointment six weeks post stopping the medicine.  Low and behold 6 weeks marked the signs of being sick. Dang, he is always right! Give me the naps and let me be ME.

 I have been ordered immuran again and nasty prednisone (still on humira too). The puffy face and hair loss have begun.  The good thing is I think we have caught this one soon enough that, so long as I listen and obey then my days in the hospital could be at zero, the doctor threatened yesterday...not funny!   I have lost near 5 pounds and staying hydrated is a big challenge, so exercise is a no-go. Seriously sore from just "being" at the current moment.



Ready to leave this flare behind me.......

My hopes are that these meds kick in during the next couple weeks and I will be able to resume my daily activities, you know, work, eat, exercise.....seems so minor but I can't see myself watching a whole other season of "Million Dollar Listing", "Dance Moms","Kardashians"and maybe a little bit of that "Toddlers and Tiaras". We are going to go broke with the On Demand Rentals. Oh, the guilty pleasures. But someone once said "if it provides pleasure then you should never feel guilty". Right?! (of course they are not aware of my shopping habits!) Really I am losing brain cells! But I am willing to sacrifice a month or two of training and racing if it means I can get back to some normalcy sooner than later.

 

Theres is a lot of debating and contemplating going on in my head at this point, but I am just going to stay positive and chalk this flare up as a reminder that I  need to be extra careful with this body I am given and keep looking forward.

Up next is a lovely wedding in Tahoe and being an official spectator at Leadman 250....someday I look forward to that race, it sounds so EPIC!



Looking forward to chasing my shadow again soon!

To all those racing, enjoy your day and appreciate your health!  Nothing can be taken for granted.  I will be diligently tracking the races online while creating a permanent booty mold on my sofa. Who knows I may take up ceramics!

UC and Triathlon

A few requests is all I need to put some UC (ulcerative colitis) information out there for those of you googling "UC and triathlon" over and over! I've been there trying to decide if I could or could not race and in search of people I could relate too.I am covering several topics briefly to outline what I have found works for me, in hopes that readers can find some hope in understanding that they are not alone. I am happy to answer any questions via my personal email listed at end of post.  Never hesitate to reach out!

I am not a medical professional on this topic. And I am only speak from my experience and how I have dealt and felt since the age of 24. Here are some blunt facts on my life.

On Flare-Ups:

*I have had 3 flare ups.  Each one gets worse and worse and worse. 

*Remissions tend to last 2-ish years.

*Stress is what ultimately will send me in a downward spiral to a flare.

*Daily there are minor issues but these can be dealt with, it is the flares that are beyond life changing.

On Food:

*The nutrition books are guidelines, but I have had no success with them.

*My findings are that during a flare vegetables, dairy, and fruit are the worst things I can give my body. 

*Chicken broth and jello are my foods of choice during a flare.

*Sometimes all my body needs is a big hamburger or a giant cookie and I feel much better (yep, against all nutrition books). My thoughts on this is that I haven't "eaten" for days and it does not make my gut worse at all, in fact, I feel better.

*Food does not cause a flare, no evidence, but when sick some foods can make it worse.  I find each flare up responds to different foods and studies find that this is the case with many. Ie: Oatmeal may effect you now, but not when in remission or during another flare

On Medicines:

*First flare up- Prednisone, Asacol, Canasa (hair loss, no weight gain)

*Second flare up- Prednisone, asacol and some liquid suppository, imuran (sorry, it grosses me out too!), anti-nausea medicine (hair loss, nausea, puffy face)

*Third flare up-Remicade (6 months), Humira (following Remicade), imuran, prednisone, anti-nausea medicine, vicodine, maxalt (vomiting, nausea, puffy face, hair loss, fatigue, headaches)

*Currently- Humira every 2 weeks, 200 mg imuran, maxalt as needed

*Even when feeling great you must take your medicines. I struggle with this because I do feel side effects of them. BUT, I am not sure I can handle a flare up worse than the previous one.

On training:

*Training is a huge stressor.

*I have to do as much as I can to limit it as a stressor by keeping a balance between sleep, work, and training.

*I sleep a min of 9 hours a night and typically take 1-2 hour naps three or more times a week.

*I train 12-16 hours a week now (far less than before)

*Hydration is a key component in my gut letting me train.  Make sure you are ALWAYS drinking. I get hydration IV's from my doc to help with this

*A missed workout is a missed workout...no makeups...your body is telling you something.

*Running....oh the anxiety!!!  I've found I can only do intervals and even tempo runs (z2+) no more than 1x/week.  I COULD do more but I spend more time looking for restrooms than I do actually running.

Tips:

*You are the biggest advocate of your body.

*Find a coach that will listen to you and work "with" you.  If you know your body can not handle "x" then let them know.
*Never expect anyone to understand what you are truly dealing with.  Trust that you do know what is best for your body and listen to yourself. Being type-A I often find myslef thinking I am being lazy, or "talking" myself down from hard training. This is NOT the case.  Trust in YOU!

*The people that matter are the ones that you can talk with and who will not judge you or make you feel "less" because of your disease. Those are the people that matter....keep them close by!

Teresa@tnmultisports.com