Finding Motivation.

 

Motivational quotes are EVERYWHERE!  "Face your fears", "aim high", "dig deeper".  When focused these make sense, but over the past few months they have been a discouragement.  And I have to close my eyes and ignore the unsettling swirls in my stomach.  I read them and think I am lazy, but in reality, I need to be smart.  I believe to truly be successful you need to be "all in", and honestly, in the racing aspect of my life I have been striving to find that certain something that drives me each and every day, primarily in fear of compromising my health.  Having enough eye-opening- flare-up-experiences can do this to you.   But, when the time is right, the time is right and the drive to excel finds you.  When the time isn't right, then we occupy that time with other important goals in our life.

 

It is easy to be influenced into continually doing more, even if it is unhealthy, as an athlete, that is all many of us know. Balance is hard, but it is rewarding.

I have been lucky enough to do the Hot Chocolate 15K a few months ago with lots of teammates (it made the out and back so-much-fun!) Considering I had only run 1 full hour a couple of times, you can only imagine what happened at 1 hour and 1 minutes into the race...ouch!  But the hot cocoa was great!

 

I did the Mercer Island 5K too, double ouch. But thankful to be out there once again.

 

Insurance finally gave approval for the VLS#3 probiotic and after a couple of weeks I am feeling even better. So am sticking to the combination of Humira and Imuran and the probiotics.

 

I was challenged with my achy shoulders  restricting me in the water, with my legs producing watts 50 lower than what I was used to seeing, and with my run paces being sub-par.  I had to go back to the basics and appreciate training by disabling all gadgets and committing to persistence. Over several weeks things started to change...did I mention SEVERAL weeks! 

 

My motivation and drive is reinstated. I may have decided on doing some triathlon races this year (pro or age group is yet to be determined) but either way I am really love what I am doing again, its undeniable!

 

2012 *bam*

WOW! Its the end of 2011 and I just have to post.

I went back to see what I was doing last year and reminisced.  I was defining what it feels like to be an athlete.  I was trying to figure out what was next. I wrote goals.

Race goals for 2011 was to just show up at a start line and race! Mission accomplished.

Race goals for 2012. A little more lofty and I have to hit some big numbers to get there. So the goal watts and paces are within reach and I am feeling nervous with excitement. Nearly puking every S/B/R....but seeing my race plans and goals flash before my eyes on that refrigerator that sat practically blank at the end of last year is huge motivation. AND, those plane tickets to Costa Rica are purchased!!!

*I was taught at a young age that if you HAND write your goals and post them in a place you frequent then you are more likely to accomplish them. Our refrigerator is full of our goals, what we need to do to get there, and why it is important to us. A trait I feel truly works and that everyone wanting to achieve anything should follow.

*I would post photos but was also taught to only share your goals with individuals that 100% believe in you. Since blog land is, well, blogland, then keeping them private I must. When a goal is accomplished then I can share. I believe I posted a small visual of it once before post-St. Croix in 2009.

2011 Stats:

I tracked my "training hours" and am surprised that this year my hours are higher (bike less).  NOW, let me follow this up by saying I fully believe in quality over quantity and measurement of hours is not a true indicator of fitness, BUT it is kind of fun data to look at (amongst all the other fun data I can geek out on).  This year was very sporadic but consistently sporadic, last year was full of tons of training until late July and then it cam to a huge halt. Here are the numbers (a little embarrassed but also very proud, I gave it my best!).

Swim: 115 hours

Bike: 224 hours

Run: 127 hours

*34 hours of strength

2010 numbers

In great news the Humira is working besides feeling incredibly tired for 1-2 days.  I can handle this (and the bruises too)!  Mark just loves being able to prick me with the painful epi-pen every two weeks, twiddling his thumbs in excitement and listening to it go "whoosh" as it is inserted.

Last year I posted about all the things I "wanted" to do this time of year and wasn't able to. My last post stated ALL those things that I "GOT" to do this year! Yipee!!!

Remember the good, let go of the bad, and shine bright in 2012.  Happy New Year!